We are changing. No sleep, no gas, no excuses…

So evidently I’m titling my posts by semi-appropariate songs that come to mind. All righty then.

Sorry I haven’t posted, even though a lot has happened. Well, it’s particularly due to the fact that so much has been going on so I could hardly get a breath, let alone computer time.

They day after Christmas, my best mate (yes, I use the word mate) got sick with some gross dizzy/weak/nauseous thing. Of course, this was incredibly stupid of me, since I have no immune system what-so-ever, but I seemed to be fine for a good long while after, and thus didn’t think much of it. We just lazed around and watched Stardust (better as a book, but not an awful movie), I really wasn’t helpful in the nursing department at all. I don’t know where to find anything in her house, least of all medicine.

At 3am that morning, my sister’s fiance calls in a squeaky panic. She’s in labor, of course. However, my mother (having blissfully already been through this twice) declares that it will be a while, and that we will head up in the morning, hangs up the phone, and rolls right back over. Finally, a score against sleep deprivation! Except that I’m still reading Twilight, and it’s so incredibly good I can’t put it down until I’ve read the very last page at 4:45. I was tossed from bed at about 7:30, making for just short of three hours of sleep. And then we drove the two hours to K-ville, in which I managed to crash for about half an hour in the backseat. So we arrive at K-ville’s women’s hospital (lemme tell you, this place is snazzy, the hospital rooms are bigger than our kitchen/dining room combined) and we sit. And wait. And listen to my sister groan. And wait. I got a smidge of writing done on Blood and Feathers (extremely tentative title, I just can’t think of anything else to call it, yet) and listened to some Apocalyptica (my favorite music for writing, I highly reccomend it.) Eventually, after a couple hours of thrashing boredom, my step-dad offers to take me over to the nearest Borders. Containing squeals of absolute glee and clutching the $140-something in Christmas cash from various relations, I sprinted down to the van and bounced through traffic until we finally arrived. Containing myself as best I could, I blew $70 righta way. Picked up New Moon and Eclipse (sequels to Twilight) to keep myself busy, an edition of xxxHolic (yes, Xae’s a manga nerd, too), an album by The Hush Sound and re-bought a Linkin Park CD that mysteriously vanished after a visit from my sister two years ago. Returning to the hospital, I listened to my new CDs and chatted with my biological-dad who had just arrived, looking much like a cornered gazelle. Bio-dad relaxed after I was there and we talked a bit about the same things we always do, conversation can be sparse between us, until 5:00ish, when at last, Evelyn Faye made her appearance. 7lb., 6oz., and with a headful of auburn hair. I’ll admit, she cute, and was quiet the first two days of her existence. Mom stayed over, Dad and I went home and back the next morning. I curled up with my Hush Sound CD, headphones, and New Moon to pass the time. So much of the day passed in oblivion to me minus a few short conversations and minimal baby-contact. We went home again I applied for a job I don’t want, kept my nose into the book. I was done with the 550+ pages of it at 3:45 and went to sleep.

Waking up, my anti-immune system caught up with me. I was dizzy, my stomach rebelled into my throat with every movement, it truly felt like someone was crushing in my eyes, but the absolute worst of all was the sensation of falling apart. Now, when I say that I feel “like I’m falling apart” everyone assumes I mean emotionally. No. This was like someone had ripped the seams out of my body and that my skin was unravelling and tearing all the muscles with it. Nasty imagery, but it was an awful feeling. So I stayed in bed all day, no reading, minimal anything. Then Evie and Sis came home and things just got insane. Every member of our family had to come in, with me dizzy and stranded on the couch in my pajamas, looking like hell. After the parade ended, I fled back to my room and hid, writing some more.

Of course, sometime in the night, Sarah has to stick her head in my room and ask me to watch Evie for a minute while she goes to the bathroom. Post-pregnancy-pee’ing evidently takes 10 minutes. Evie started wailing and I had to pick her up and try to dance her back to silence. Being. Sick. How does no one get this? I’m dizzy, I might throw up, I’m weak as a kitten and you’re having me hold your newborn baby? Come on, people! Anyway, it didn’t work. She was hungry and I couldn’t find the pacifier to appease her. Mom woke up and came to the rescue thankfully, though Sarah kind of sighed when she saw me like I was an absolute disaster. Uh, I am. I don’t do child/baby things. I’ve been pretty clear about this since the first new baby in the family. Ah, well.

Which brings us to today, where I’m doing almost nothing at all. Woke up, wrote this. Sorry for the delay, and the ranting.

…I just noticed how incredibly long-winded I am. Sorry about that!!